What exactly do you say to someone who continually (or even randomly, in my case) posts or tweets serious statuses on their state of mind or feelings?
Here are a few responses that I've seen to some of these posts:
3. The occasional "It'll get better!!" positive, go-get-em, PSA style friend that, at the end of the day, has only good intentions for you.
2. Jokes. I'm going to make you laugh because you are depressed, which can sometimes work. If I joke with someone like that though, I'll always be sure to follow up with a "I hope things get better for you". It can be refreshing in some cases.
A comedian friend of mine sometimes has these slew of posts that make me worried for him. I hope he's simply ranting, but I do feel his pain, in a way. He could be struggling with depression. Especially when ALL of his comments are jokes from other people:
Status: Looking for a job. Any ideas?
Comments:
"Be a hooker!"
"LOL Yeah, be a hooker! It pays well! Or a stripper!"
Sure. He's a comedian. But ... none of the above is funny, nor is it appropriate. (Which, by the way, is probably one of the more extreme cases, but HAS happened). People avoid the real issues right in front of them and tend to joke at the expense of others because - they don't know what to say. Which brings me to my number one response ....
1. Nothing. Some people choose to say nothing. Which, in the above example, is actually MUCH better. But I feel as though people avoid it because they think everything will REALLY be okay. So instead, they fret over the statuses about a pet being sick or that TV show that everyone watches or what an asshole that guy at work was.
I can't speak for everyone with anxiety/depression, but I will say this -
We don't need your proverbs or prayers (though appreciated). We don't want your jokes or averted eye contact. We need/want genuine, honest people in our lives. Those that will say "Hey, let's go to the movies or grab coffee" or "Hey, I read this great book I think you'd like". Those are the people we want to be around.
It's okay if you don't always know what to say; sometimes I'm not sure what to say/do myself. But sometimes that smile from a stranger or the drink for no reason from a friend can make a day 100% better.
DISCLAIMER: Another curious problem with depression is posts like this - How many of you had the initial reaction of, "OH my God! Is she okay?? What's she going to do??"
Depression issues, bi-polar disorder, anxiety/panic attacks - these are all real things. Real things that people deal with everyday. I am one of those people. It's nothing to be alarmed about; I just choose to speak out about it. I wish more people would.
